It always seems that sorry is the hardest word in the English language for me. I mean, I’m a real bitch, and it’s mostly my family that sees it. A lot of times there’s really no reason behind it, it’s just always been who I am (you can double check that with my parents even). Sometimes it gets really out of control, and I’ve never even considered that maybe I need to stop it, until I met my husband. He makes me see a different person in me that I was completely unaware was even present in all the personalities I have (about 16 in total).
The thing with saying “I’m sorry.”, well, it just drives me batshit crazy when people say it so much that it loses it’s value. I mean, it’s only two words, but those two words carry a lot of value, and I have issues with saying it when I don’t really mean it, and I rarely am sorry. I figure if you’re really, really sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. When I lash out or say something snide, I mean it, and I am aware that what I’ve said has probably hurt someone’s feelings, but that is exactly what I intended to do, so why should I be sorry? I realize that sounds really mean and hateful, but it’s the truth, and I wouldn’t have said it without a reason. Not only that, but people who I don’t care about are rarely able to get my hackles up anyway, so if I make those sorts of comments, it’s a very clear sign that you mean something to me. Despite the fact that it all sounds horrible, I honestly have to be mad or hurt to start attacking someone, I mean, I don’t just call everyone I know when I’m having a bad day, and point out all their faults to them.
I dunno. It’s been that a few people have pointed out to me that I rarely apologize when they believe I should have, but I’m not apologizing just to make someone feel better, to me that totally misses the point of being apologetic. You should feel sorry, and I just don’t. Does anyone else agree?
Kassandra
April 22, 2011
So true! I’m a bitch too, and my husband knows it along with my family and close friends. If I say somethin cross, I might not have meant to hurt your feelings but I meant what I said. I’m glad I’m not the only one.